SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
by Eric Neo Matrix
Summary: Sonic the Hedgehog does not wish to know eternity, and then he discusses life with a famous author.
1. Chapter 1

With a roar of laughter, Tails withdrew the flesh-choked blade from the space warthog's ruined skull. He turned to Sonic, body dripping with ichor and pus with fanatical homosex.

"Sonic, you..."

Sonic vomited several bucketfuls of infected flesh. "I am no Sonic."

A warthog's eye socket glowed with vibrant hellfire and Tails dodged, digging his whirring sword into the warthog's abdomen and dipping his tails in a tsunami of gore. The beast was torn to naught, his flesh distintigrating and melting and all other ways a body could decay.

"I am no Sonic."

His spines of tentacles and snakes writhed through the air and rendered oblivion in their wake. His skin turned jet-black, a niggardly color that betrayed his transformation.

I am... Sonique!"

The heavens roared and angels fell into weeping ecstasy before they cowered in terror at the might of his nigger member that now shone like the sun. Metalloid bloodswords ripped from his veins and struck down every heathen planet that dared glory forced the warthogs to begin their fornication of lust for all eternity, and they scream to this day, boys and girls.


	2. Chapter 2

"Kneel."

Tails knelt before the great goddess who had appeared before him.

With catlike swipes, Sonique withdrew her mighty titanslaying bass Shitskull, from a dimension of eternal pain and suffering, wrought from divine promises, hewn from the diamond of a trillion galaxies, pulsing with the blood of prepubescent boys and forged from the hearts of the devil's finest. It screamed and snorted as it was unleashed, but only one as Sonique could understand it.

She swung the perch through Tails's scrawny head, bursting it asunder. She took the head of her fallen foxslave and stuffed it into her anus, connecting them forevermore. Sonique then expelled gas and summoned great comets from the void to kill everyone on Mobius for no reason at all. And then he had a vision. It was Mohammad the Great Nigger, calling the hedgehog from his underwater fort that wasn't underwater.

"Sonique, you must rock the fuck out."

And so she did, boys and girls and dear readers. Sonique channeled her rage through Shitskull. The boy blood within simmered and boiled. She summoned a great meteor, swathed with the semen of a thousand wanks, leapt onto it, and flew into space. She encased the whole meteor in a ball of holy shitfire and flew through Saturn, killing the shit out of it. Then she sent the carcass of Neptune through Saturn, killing the shit out of it and making every testicle in the universe explode, each singing religious hymns and angelic love.

"Oh don't you go there! Imma strong independent black hedgehog who don't need no Prophet!"

Sonique did then fly through the void, punching bishops in the face with her fists encase in shitfire and throwing their ruined heads into the future where they continued to spear children with their members. Then she did receive another vision from Yolkman, who was eating wetback food with the president of Palestine.

"Chili dog, my friend?"

"That ain't weed!"


	3. Chapter 3

Sonique slammed the food down. It wasn't really food because the meat was formed from fetuses and the bread was made of headless chickens making love to little ponies made from marshmellows. But it was still food.

"Knackles, if you stop licking that emerald we'll starve and no one shall slaughter everyone and their gods in the universe!"

"I am not Knickles." The ancient furry dropped some of the galaxies he juggled. "The power has shifted. I am Kneckles of the Republican clan."

He flexed one of his arms made of nuclear missiles and punched a planet so that its population of inbred chinamen lost their beards.

Sonique gave a glance towards the chili dog made of manflesh that had suddenly appeared in her hand. Hideous and beautiful moans emanated from its moist folds. She was hungry. She looked at a nearby cup. It had wizards laying on the bottom. She thought about weed.

Her thoughts came into being. Jesus stood before her, his mighty penis shining with the power of a billion suns.

"Jesus, why haven't you called me? I have a fantasy about a bottle of chocolate sauce, a turkey baster, 3 raw eggs, and an Easter basket. What I did that one day was unforgivable I know, but I need your dirty club in my butthole, and I can't stand it any longer! Jesus, please forgive me! Amen."

"You are forgiven."

She leaned over and started frenching with the Lord, and the homosex caused Pluto to turn to mush. Why? Because it did.

Kneckles was turned on.


End file.
